open letters – to my husband #write31days

The final posts of this series will be open letters to the members of our team.  First up is the husband, and coincidentally today’s birthday boy.

To my husband,

I mistakenly marveled at how you and I came together and our stories, our strengths and weaknesses seemed to perfectly complement each other.  I see our partnership differently now.  I no longer picture you and me facing each other in this you-complete-me, lovely, soul mate jigsaw puzzle.  Instead it is you and me, side-by-side and facing forward, hands held tight, duly equipped with our stories, our lessons (so many lessons), our strengths and weaknesses, ready to leap....

Somewhere.

So many places, it feels like.

Most notably, right now, this place where we raise a child in a way that we never have before.  A place where our growing patience and compassion and sticktoitiveness have a purpose.  A place where sacrifice is, strangely, attractive.  A place for which this sturdiest version of our marriage was built.  A place where we will be stripped down again and again by unknowns and loneliness and juggling and the only thing, only One, left standing will be the God that brought us together and brought us here and will bring us through.

One of the delights of my adult life has been to watch you be a father.  Creating your own formula has not been not easy, I bet, but this thing you do, where you are fun but the boss and understand their world and not shy and okay with being a mortal, has produced some pretty amazing kids, these first three.  It excites me to think about you with the next.

Excited, but I am nervous for us too. I think I still envision the future as a bit of a fantasy, where we won't have quite as many struggles as they say we will or our marriage won't be quite as stretched or we won't have quite so much trouble loving all four kids the way they need to be loved by us.  

It is going to be so hard, Love. 

*sigh* 

But we have done hard, though.  Lots of times.  It's our thang.

So let's make a deal.  When this starts really rolling I promise not to let go of your hand - don't let go of mine, okay?  Help me be brave.  You're good at that.

Let's still do our porch dates, too.

Now let's do this.

L=)

PS - Wink at me when you read this. Winking selfie is also acceptable if we're at work.