Let's debunk some myths today...
it's going to happen soon
One of the risks I was avoiding in not sharing our news for so long was that we would be waiting to be matched for three more years and throughout all that we would have to address a steady stream of how's it's and why haven't's. Which of course would make Waiting Purgatory feel even crappier. When it's a secret nobody asks and you can hide your worries and doubts and why haven't's and we should haves in your safe little bubble at home. Because the truth is, we could still be a few years away from bringing him home. There is searching, waiting, interviewing and assessing, not being chosen, trying again, red tape, et cetera, et cetera... It's very easy for me to ramble this stuff off but I am bracing myself for some real suckiness. So please, if you see me one day and you ask me how it's going and my response sounds rehearsed and my expression is totally fake, forgive me. I'll probably secretly want to start crying the ugly cry and really not shut up about it.
i know what i need to know
I am trying my best to share as much information as I can, but the truth is, there are critical pieces of this whole thing we haven't even studied yet. I don't know exactly how the matching process will work, step by step. I heard it once. And my memory sucks. I have barely first date knowledge of FASD, and the issues of attachment and loss are so huge but I haven't gotten beyond overviews yet. I have been networking with a few resource families lately, though, and through them have been amassing valuable knowledge about what it may be like when he finally comes. And my sister has borrowed about fifty books for me from her local library that relate to attachment in adoption, so I am working on it. But still lots of work ahead.
we are a perfect family
If you think we are doing this because we have reached the summit of family awesomeness and evolved into a holy unit oozing with righteousness, you better check your batteries.
Ben and I still find ourselves on opposing pages once in a while. Our children still have many messy, unfilterable moments, as do we. My lawn is a catastrophe. I still have remnants of self esteem issues from long ago. Sometimes we play jokes on each other at the Wrong. Times. Our house is a tight fit for four kids and a dog that Ben is praying God will surprise us with one magical Christmas.
But we are making ourselves available, the scared-but-willing work-in-progress that we are. And that's all He asked for.